When Nature Calls
by
Day two of data collection started off much better than the first. Well rested, hydrated, and with plenty of time for breakfast spirits were high for this eucalyptus enthusiast. Upon arrival, we quickly split into two teams: The Alpha team (Jefferson and Nathan) and the B team (Tomas, Nick and Adam). What we lacked in raw talent we made up for with scrappy determination. Although we were the underdogs, we would not be discouraged. We quickly counted two randomly selected circular areas using our three man counting method. Adam and I would walk out fifteen meters from Nick to act as markers. Nick used his excellent tree counting ability to count the trees within the section of the circle that Adam and I marked off. We would then rotate around the circle to count the next section, and so on, until all the trees in the circle were accounted for.
Figure 2. Adam acting as a marker or a bouncer in the woods
At this point, against all odds, we were beating the A team, until the unthinkable happened. My big, beautiful breakfast that I had been so grateful for was about to turn on me. Nature was calling in a way that it had never called before. Panic overcame me. With no known toilets around, few good wiping leaves, and a wildlife ecology group that found it "funny" to harass me at my most vulnerable. I searched frantically through the woods for the smallest sign of hope, until finally I stumbled upon a small wooden outhouse. All was saved! I'm not sure what good I had done in my life to deserve to find this beautiful outhouse and I didn't care. In that moment everything was right in the world. All my problems blissfully dissolved away into thin air.
Figure 3. Catharsis
Unfortunately, things weren't all that they seemed. Once I figured out how to close the door everything was going smoothly until one of my companions through a large tree branch at my humble sanctuary. It made a loud noise which startled me, but it didn't startle me nearly as much as what the noise caused. Out of every nook and cranny of the old wooden hut, came every type of creepy, crawly critter that you could imagine. The bugs coated the inside of the walls completely surrounding me. If that weren't enough there was an odd scratching noise from outside the outhouse that sounded like something out of a horror movie. When I tried to open the door I found that my fellow teammates had wrapped the transect around the bathroom a couple times to trap me. Eventually they let me out and we counted trees.
Fin.
Figure 4. The B team (aka team T.A.N) after hard day's work